Good movies you might not have watched: Noroi (2005)

Noroi - The Curse
Little late to the party with this one, but I think a shout-out is well justified, as it is not one of the best known j-horror movies. If I had known this movie had been done by the same director as Ju-rei (a poor man’s Ju-on), I am not sure I would have given it a chance, but I am glad I did.

Even though it uses a tired format (fake documentary), the way it is all set up (a programa about a paranormal investigator’s last investigation) allows the viewer to complete the puzzle in a non-linear way. The first few scenes don’t come naturally together until the final act of the film, but to its advantage, I found the different pieces of the puzzle in the form of video sources (other TV programs, 70s film, …) to be really entertaining and well done, too, they didn’t feel fake at all.

And then there’s the creepy factor … It is in the details. As I was watching the movie, what convinced me I would enjoy it more than most movies was a bit of hair in water, of all things. From there, the evil keeps growing until the very end, and then then end after that first end, too.

This is not much of a review, but if you like horror films, you might want to give this one a chance, because there are not that many that are this good …

Wishmaster is a dick (II)

When we left the Wishmaster, he was trapped in a jewel more than 3000 years ago. 20 minutes later, the Wishmaster is back in the world, exchanging wishes for souls in present day. It is in this context, that this scene happens …

Hobo wishes for social justice
Click to view full scene!

Social commentary? Are all hobos crazy? What does it all mean?

To be continued …

Necrofashion

How many times did you wake up abruptly in the middle of the night from an eldritch dream just in time to see with the corner of your eye something long and quick and scaly retracting under the sheets? If you’re like me your first thought will be “not again!” or “What am I going to wear tomorrow at the office?”.

The voices have always different opinions and having them agree on something is far from easy, but one piece of clothing they all appreciate are these wonderful money making necropants from icelandic haute couture stylist Brjálæði Móðirdrepa.

Once worn these necropants will be indistinguishable from your own skin.

One additional benefit can be obtained by putting this rune in the scrotum

along with a coin stolen from a poor widow, so that your necropants produce an unending supply of coins. One little caveat, you should have somebody else wear them the moment you take them off if you don’t want to suffer unnamable horrors.

From galdrasyning

I see

Battling sanity will not get you laid, famous or rich. In the best scenario you will walk your toothbrush, in the worst, your toothbrush will walk you. The only hope you could have then is for the ones beyond the veil to have some of their world-sized neurons increase their activity by 0.0001% before eating you (forever). That should count for something, at least for the ones who care about such things.

I can hear you shouting “I want to be eaten first! Disembowel me, oh, unkowable ones!” and I applaude your enthusiasm, but be warned! The path to madness is paved with logic, your battle is just beginning, and everybody on your way will try to talk you out of it.

Only continuous exposition to the best crafts that humanity can pathetically achieve might help strengthen your resolve and get you closer to your destination.

Cthuluwatch will try to bring you the most exquisite and maddening bits of antilife uncreations harvested from the interwebs.

Starting with those exquisite piece of furniture:

You should be thankful to Zoe Williams, or maybe to her mad-scientist parents.

Wishmaster is a dick (I)

It’s probably no surprise that, here at Fanthoman HQ, we love fine cinema. So when the time came to dissect and analyze a movie, we had to start with one of the modern classics: Wishmaster. I mean, it is not like you get 3 sequels just for being shit.

To analyze this kind of movie, you can take two paths, either you do traditional analysis and spend hours talking about all the finely tuned details that make this movie an instant classic, or we can go to the money-shots. Knowing how busy you must be in this day and age, we went for the second option.

We have distilled, in fumetti form, the wishing scenes, because that’s the true measure of a good Wishmaster film.

So let’s start with the first scene of the first movie. Click on the image below to get the full scene and please enjoy … Wishmaster!!!

Persia 1127 AD

And what a strong start it is! In the matter of a few seconds we get tributes to Star Wars, Alien, Ray Harryhausen and possibly Clive Barker’s NightBreed. Of course, at the end of the scene the Wishmaster ends up trapped in a jewel, never to be seen again … or will he?

To be continued …