Category Archives: Cthuluwatch

The time’s ripe. The old gods are almost here. You know it might happen any time … so let’s try to get ready!


How many times did you wake up abruptly in the middle of the night from an eldritch dream just in time to see with the corner of your eye something long and quick and scaly retracting under the sheets? If you’re like me your first thought will be “not again!” or “What am I going to wear tomorrow at the office?”.

The voices have always different opinions and having them agree on something is far from easy, but one piece of clothing they all appreciate are these wonderful money making necropants from icelandic haute couture stylist Brjálæði Móðirdrepa.

Once worn these necropants will be indistinguishable from your own skin.

One additional benefit can be obtained by putting this rune in the scrotum

along with a coin stolen from a poor widow, so that your necropants produce an unending supply of coins. One little caveat, you should have somebody else wear them the moment you take them off if you don’t want to suffer unnamable horrors.

From galdrasyning

I see

Battling sanity will not get you laid, famous or rich. In the best scenario you will walk your toothbrush, in the worst, your toothbrush will walk you. The only hope you could have then is for the ones beyond the veil to have some of their world-sized neurons increase their activity by 0.0001% before eating you (forever). That should count for something, at least for the ones who care about such things.

I can hear you shouting “I want to be eaten first! Disembowel me, oh, unkowable ones!” and I applaude your enthusiasm, but be warned! The path to madness is paved with logic, your battle is just beginning, and everybody on your way will try to talk you out of it.

Only continuous exposition to the best crafts that humanity can pathetically achieve might help strengthen your resolve and get you closer to your destination.

Cthuluwatch will try to bring you the most exquisite and maddening bits of antilife uncreations harvested from the interwebs.

Starting with those exquisite piece of furniture:

You should be thankful to Zoe Williams, or maybe to her mad-scientist parents.